The Power of Colour Exhibition was an explosion of colour and light taking over three years to complete (not including the archive pieces). It was so rewarding to see the paintings radiating on the walls after such an extensive lead-up, a real-life highlight that I treasure. It was wonderful to connect with so many people out of the studio at the gallery, for once not immersed in my own inner rivers of colour and shapes but to be face to face taking in other humans’ experience. I realize how different my life is to so many people and how happy I am to have a unique voice and to have been brave enough to follow my truth from a young age. It is not luck, just bravery, pure determination and inner-fire dreams that were far more meaningful than anything I could find in the outer world and still do. That’s the thing about following your truth, the path does not have the usual crowd driven commercialized narrative, it’s in the silence, away from the algorithms and in the mud where the lotuses grow that the true treasures are found, in the pain trenches…

I have been going through so many emotions recently. The “post show blues” which artists expect, talk about and “know” will happen without a doubt, has visited. The present becomes filled with an inner emptiness- a complete unraveling from all the intense focus, passionate prelude (laced with desire), sweet anticipation, the extensive organization and not to mention each painting; a little universe created and loved, a time capsule within itself with so many stories about the artists soul path.

I feel exhausted. I have taken a deep dive to nowhere, that means anything. An interesting space for an old pro. Complete BLA mixed with paddling through thoughts (or not paddling strangely feels better). I can’t fill this void up with designer gelato or applause or a new oil paint, not even a new dream of getting to a glitzy somewhere…it’s an unnerving bleakness that walks with me-A state that only quietness and solitude can heal. Its interesting … Ive been here before so many times and have come so far but can be completely blindsided again…Time is not linear, human existence is not linear, our paintings past and future are not linear…. our connection to the big grid of Spirit is timeless, endless and infinite and it’s here I want to live… the space the ego loathes….

 I begin to chop wood and carry water….

 I begin to chop wood and carry water…

 I begin to chop wood and carry water……

Gently I begin to feel a path…gently a colour talks to me and tells me a story… I can hear the song ever so faint…